Me vs. 43

Last night I was so drunk or at least I felt that way.  Ironically, not an ounce of alcohol touched my lips.  I had the great fortune of experiencing my lowest low blood sugar.  It was a freaky experience.  I’m still getting used to the idea of feeling fine one minute and then feeling drunk and/or stoned the next.  At least that’s how my lows feel.  Up to this point in my diabetic career, having a low is by far the weirdest feeling to deal with.  I’m still figuring out how my body reacts to both highs and lows.  Although I’m more in tuned with the highs than the lows.  Possibly because I know how highs happen.

My first major low was not a fun experience.  I woke up in the morning and felt fine.  This morning started out much like the rest–with a trip to the bathroom.  All of the sudden I started to feel very light headed.  At that moment I yelled to my wife that I might pass out. Then on cue I passed out.  I didn’t even see it coming really.  I probably should have sat down, but I’m not used to passing out.  I’ve only done it a few times in my life.  I had a battle wound bruise to show off (conveniently placed on my bicep, so I could wow the ladies with my guns). I also had a newfound respect for how much lows suck. My lows before had mostly consisted of me feeling light headed, which was quickly fixed with a swig of juice. This time was different and drove home the point of how scary hypoglycemia can be.

My second scary low happened as my wife and I settled into bed. I started to giggle about nothing. And then I was giggling about giggling. And then I felt sick. I tested and my BG was 43 mg/dl. This was my lowest blood sugar to date. After my usual remedy of a juicebox and a glucose tab, I tested at 53 mg/dl. We finally got my BG to an acceptable place and we went to sleep. I woke up 4 hours later with a BG of 300! Needless to say, I was upset and whacked out. For the rest of that day I was done.  I was totally worn out and felt like poop.  Good times.  It was a completely new feeling for me.

Here’s a little background on me and sickness.  I grew up in a family where my mom was a nurse and my dad was a physical therapist.  I was never sick as a kid.  I mean that sarcastically.  But the bar was set high to actually be sick and miss school.  I couldn’t get anything past my mom or dad.  When I was a senior in High School, I was sick–really sick. Mom and Dad felt nature would take its course.  I’d be on the mend soon enough.  So they made me go to school for a week before a trip to the doctor. I had pneumonia. When I was a kid, I wished to be sick so I could stay at home, or at least be allowed to play hookey. But I was never let off the hook and I would go to school anyway. Over time it made me a warrior against illness.

In my professional career I’ve rarely missed days from work.  In turn that’s given me opportunities in my job and I’ve proven to my employers I’m a reliable employee.  Ultimately I had become a hard ass.  Now my wife is laughing at this last comment.  Whining doesn’t count.  Because I still show up for work and I work hard. 

I’ve been a relatively healthy person my entire life.  Hence, the diabetes has been a bit of culture shock.  I never thought I could give in to sickness before.  It was always fight through the pain.  One day you’ll feel better.  But you can’t do that with The Betes.  Seriously, there are days when diabetes wins.  A new concept for me, but one that I’m getting familiar with.  I know this isn’t news to anyone that’s been fighting diabetes for years.  But for me it has been an eye opening experience.

At the end of the day I’m a diabetic and some days I’ll win, some days I’ll lose.  But I’ll always be fighting.

 

Me vs. 2008 (FTW!)

Another year has gone bye bye.  Yes, we say adios to 2008.  Those of you who know me know that this was one hell of a year.  Not only did we move home to Missouri, but we also left beautiful Denver.  During that process apparently Diabeetus decided to screw with my pancreas and make me pee a lot.  And lose 20 pounds in a month.  And make me buy new glasses because my vision changed.  I could go into more detail.  But I’m saving the story of how I got The Betes for next year.  I will need something exciting to blog about.

So having lived from May to December with syrup in the veins I guess that really did dominate life in 2008.  But more importantly my wife and I are damn happy to be back home.  It’s great to be closer to old friends and family.  We did leave great friends and neighbors behind in Colorado.  They are truly missed and we hope to see them again in the future.

My beloved Tigers of Missouri had another wonderful season.  Yes, they did not win a national championship.  But I suppose I could have been drinking the juice to think they might.  Either way another double digit win season makes me proud to be a Tiger.  Good bye to this fantastic senior class.  Chase, Chase, Chase & Co. 

Including you Tommy Saunders – MY FAVORITE PLAYER.  Because he gives it his all on every play.  (he really isn’t a giant I swear.  He was on the bleachers above me!)

Looking forward to a great 2009.  Excluding a financial apocalypse for sure.  But hopefully we’ll be prepared for anything. 

Goals, well yes I do have them. I just don’t know exactly what they are yet.  Obviously I want to continue working to control my diabetes.  I want to either stay in my honeymoon phase or being a type 1.5 whichever holds as long as one of them does.

The coming year is full of hope and excitement.  Maybe even fatherhood you never know.  Last but not least I certainly hope to keep fighting my friend Brimley.

Me vs. Diabeetus vs. Wilford…

 

Blogging ain’t for wimps or How I did for the Holidays

What I’m saying is that this blogging thing is tough to keep up with.  I didn’t even make it 2 weeks without running out of blogging gas.  So this is my attempt to get back in the game.

I had a fantastic Christmas holiday.  We spent time with my wife’s family in St. Louis.  Got all kinds of gifts.  Including a lock de-icer from my 93 year old grandmother-in-law.   I only wish I didn’t work from home, so maybe I could use it!  Unfortunately, that was not the best gift.  I also received a very thoughtful travel roll of toilet paper.  For those times when you’re on the RUN…  Good times.  You can never go wrong with travel TP.

As the holiday season winds down I can now look back to see how I did with the Betes.  It was my first fall with it and I think I did OK.  Not great that’s for sure.  Halloween was SUPER hard!  Way too much friggin’ candy.  I learned that my blood sugar is very sensitive to tootsie rolls.  Who knew?!?!?  Very surprised that 200 of them in 5 minutes would spike me? Weird.

Halloween was a good warning for me to be prepared for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  And I did pretty good with Thanksgiving.  But I love pie (maybe not as much as cookies).  Especially when my father-in-law makes 1.5 pies per person.  You know it is Thanksgiving because there is never a lack of pie or pie options.  The bases are covered.  But I’ve always felt that Thanksgiving isn’t Thanksgiving without pie.  So I may have overdone it a bit with pie.  But all in all I kept the BG under some semblance of control.

I wouldn’t say I knocked it out of the park for Christmas.  But I’d have to say it was my best holiday effort.  Excluding some wonderful sweet rolls for breakfast on Christmas morning I did darn good.  I even had a salad at one point to keep things in check.  How about that!

I know this is only my first trip through Holiday lane as a PWD (person with diabetes), but I was pretty proud of myself.  Like I said I wasn’t perfect.  I definitely had control issues for Halloween and Thanksgiving.  But was happy with the rebound for Christmas.

Here’s to many more Holiday seasons fighting my friend Brimley…

 

Cookies vs. Diabeetus

So my favorite sesame street character when I was growing up was the Cookie Monster.  I think this may explain why my favorite food product on earth are cookies.  I freaking love cookies.  You know the button (aka Piece of Flair) on facebook that has the little kid coloring.  That’s pretty much how I feel about cookies.  If I could eat cookies for 3 meals a day I certainly would.  I’d start off with a nice breakfast of snickerdoodles.  Then for lunch we’d dine on some nice chocolate chip cookies.  And for dinner it would be decadent peanut butter cookies with the chocolate chips in them.  DON’T forget dessert!  I mean you can’t have dinner without dessert.  I think a nice after dinner cookie would be maybe a ginger snap or even a sugar cookie with the buttercream frosting.

OK, so the diabetic coma interlude is over.  It was fun while it lasted.  Unfortunately the days of gorging on cookies are over for me.  Not that that is a bad thing by any means.  Sure I still dine on cookies, but I’m always aware of the ole BG (Blood Glucose/Blood Sugar).  I have the good angel/bad angel on my shoulder now.  But cookies are the one thing that it’s tough to listen to the good angel.  It’s funny how the good angel looks a lot like my wife too!  I don’t mind giving up a lot of things for Diabeetus, but cookies are definitely the toughest.  Well, that a maybe birthday cake, but I guess that’s a separate post.

I’d say the standard chocolate chip are my favorite.  But if you hit me up with a  peanut butter chocolate chip I’m pretty much in heaven.  And I’m in the 200′s!  My grandmother used to make the best snicerkdoodles, so I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for those.

I recently learned that my first word as a baby was the word cookie.  How about that for a lifelong relationship.  We’ve been mated from the beginning!  So Cookies I will say that we may not be as close as we once were.  But it’s not you.  It’s me.  I really do love you.  This isn’t the end!

On a quick dBlogger note.  I wanted to thank Big “D” for his comments this week.  I truly appreciate it and I can only hope that I can lend the kind of support and inspiration others in the diabetes blogging community have given me.  Thanks!

 

Needle in my side

I’m a recently diagnosed Diabetic. As you would imagine I’m still getting used to the new lifestyle.  I’ve never been a big fan of needles.  Who is really!?!?!  Unfortunately for the type 1 diabetic there really isn’t getting around the fact you’ll have to probe yourself from time to time.  Whether this be from pricking your finger to test your blood sugar to injecting yourself with insulin.  I’ve yet to move to a pump.  Mainly because my doctors believe I’m still in my “honeymoon” phase.  Or I could be a type 1.5, but who knows really.  Only time will tell on that issue.

When I went to the dietitian it was their task to show me how to use insulin.  That was a fun trip.  I guess some people don’t really fear the needle.  But it took me a good 15 minutes to MAN-UP (As coach says)

and actually stick the needle in the belly.  Now it’s only been a few months but that’s all behind me.  I’ve even been as gutsy enough to inject to different parts of my body.  whoo hoo!  Look at me I’m a big boy now.  My parents, both life long careers in the medical industry, said it would be no big deal after awhile.  And yes they were right.  So Mom and Dad it’s in writing now.  You should bookmark this post.  Keep it for when I don’t listen to you again.  Which I invariably will do despite your best efforts.  Yes yes I know once I have kids I’ll know that it’s like.  But until then I’m gonna bask in the ignorance.

It’s funny how we can adapt to a completely new lifestyle in such a short period of time.  And I suppose certain life events cause more dramatic changes in lifestyle than others.  Meet a person who has had a heart attack.  Or someone who has fought cancer and won.  I certainly don’t put myself in their category.  But a year ago I would never have thought I could handle the so called life of a diabetic.  But today here I am pricking my fingers and shooting up insulin as if I’d been doing it for years.

A lot of my friends and family have been surprised at how well I’ve dealt with the news.  I’ve always thought what are my options?  Sure it’s sad and it sucks.  But in my opinion there’s only one option.  And that’s to deal with it head on.  And try to keep a positive attitude.  Oh, don’t get me wrong there are days I curse the heavens above.  Then I decompress and try to get back on track.  This disease will be with me for the rest of my life, save for a cure, I’ll be intimately familiar with it as time goes on.  Who knows how my attitude will change over time.  They say the 1st year is the hardest.  I’m more fearful of the 5th year or the 27th year.  But as long as my attitude stays positive and I actively work towards a better lifestyle.  I can handle whatever this disease brings at me.  And of course with the support of my friends and family.

 

Icebox vs. Home Office

I work from home.  I’ve done this for only a few months now.  So I’m still getting used to it.  There are the typical things you worry about when working from home.  Will you clean yourself?  Will you change out of your pj’s?  Will you work 8 to 5 or 6 to 7?  And is talking to your dogs considered a team building experience?

I’ve been a good employee so far.  I try very hard to communicate with my boss.  I try to let people know when I need work or when I’ll have downtime.  I also try to do some self study when there is downtime.

This week I discovered what the hardest thing for me to deal with is when working from a home office.  Freezing your ass off.  I guess you never think of the utilities involved in going to work in an office.  It certainly never entered my mind.  And I can be a cheapskate so I don’t like to turn on the heat during the day.  So in turn this week  has been rough.  I have basically frozen my giblets off.

Earlier in the week I did try to work with gloves on.  That lasted a few hours until I realized it was ridiculous.  Being a software developer I need the ability to type and use a keyboard.  No hunting and pecking for me.   I have also layered myself fully.  We lived in Colorado for 4 years, so I know a thing or two about layering.  But in doing so I feel like I should go skiing I’m so bundled up.  This make it hard to go to the potty.  Which with my extraordinarily small bladder that became a pain.

And then there was the space heater incident.  Let me tell you it’s NO JOKE that they warn these could cause house fires.  I got one and only had it going for about 30 minutes and I hear a pop.  And then my computer and monitor shut off.  No good.  I check the outlet and it has basically melted.  Needless to say I took it back and I will not try that route again.

I really like winter too.  I’ve always looked forward to it.  But working from home in the cold sucks.  I’m too stubborn to turn on the heat.  So that’s not going to happen.  I’ll just have to learn to deal with it I suppose. Or I can just complain about it.  I like that option the best.  So will my wife!

 

Ahhh, Minivans…

So I’m only 32 years old.  And I have a confession to make.  I like the minivan.  The funny thing is my wife and I don’t have kids yet.  Whereas most families only look at the minivan as an option once kids start popping out.  But not me.  I’m ready to pull that trigger today.  Never in a million years did I see this coming.  It’s hard to even type the words.  If you know me you know I love cars.  I’ve owned probably too many.  And I’ve researched probably too many.  To my surprise and to the detriment of my manhood I’ve come to the realization that I dig the minivan.  I dig that they are easy to get in and out of.  I dig that on the high end they can have leather with heated seats.  I dig that they have tons of storage and I dig that they get good gas mileage.  All things most people would dig about any other car.  Regardless of it’s minivan-ness.

As you get older I guess your idea of what is cool and what isn’t changes.  I suppose this is just one of those things.  I wonder what other surprises will come my way.  Will I suddenly crave a sporty convertible?  Who knows.  Will I want to hang with the cool green crowd and covet a prius?  I highly doubt that.  I have no qualms with drinking the dino juice. I’m not green.  I enjoy my hp and I enjoy the driving experience.  Something that no car maker to date has delivered.  Hello, Fiskers?  Ahh, we shall see.  But I do feel clensed proclaming my affinity for the minivan.  All this from a man without kids.

 

The Car Prick

I’m a recently diagnosed type 1 diabetic.  Still learning the ropes of what it means to deal with a chronic disease.  So I’m in my first year of dealing with the little things of diabetes.  I was diagnosed earlier this year and I really haven’t travelled much since diagnosis.  I’m a software developer and my first trip as a diabetic was a work trip to California.  My wife and I cautiously packed my diabetes toolbox.  And I was prepared for everything.  The trip went well and I felt pretty confident traveling with my betes.

But recently we’ve started to visit more friends and family.  Which has meant more road trips.  These are sneaky because you don’t prepare the same for a roadtrip as you do for a packing the bags hitting the airport type trip.  So I’ve found myself in situations with my disease that used to be normal and is now far from it.

One recent trip we made was to visit my parents house.  They travel to Florida for the winter and we go visit the house to check in on it and make sure everything is ok.  And to just plain relax.  We left on a Friday evening before dinner.  Before eating.  So my blood sugar wasn’t really in check.  I started to feel either high or low.  I’m still trying to figure out what means what.  I think I may never know.  We are flying down a highway and I’m either lazy or stubborn.  But I want to test.  While driving.  On a highway.  In a car.  Doing 65 or whatever.  Yeah, I’m brilliant.  In retrospect, it seems to be a very dumb idea.  At the time I just wanted to know what my BG was.

So I have my wife load the test strip.  I lanced my finger.  So far so good.  But placing blood sample to test strip isn’t as easy to do in a moving car.  I may have veered into a different lane.  You have no proof.  My wife may have had a few choice words for me.  It was only us.  Kind of like a tree falling in a forest.  You’ll never know.  I can tell you that pricking yourself in the car isn’t a great idea.  DUH you say!  Well, sometimes you just have to live and learn I suppose.  Or get better at it.  I could always get a bumper sticker, “Type 1 Diabetic – May Not Pay Attention And Be Doing Things Related To His Disease.  Watch Out”  Yeah, that’s the ticket.

 

DIABEETUS vs. Mr. Brimley

why i’m fighting brimley….

 

Introduction

Hello, I’m my name is Steve.  I’m a 32 year old software developer.  I’m an only child.  So yes, you can consider I was spoiled.  I grew up in a very small town in the great state of Missouri.  It was a place where pretty much everyone knew everyone.  I’m married to the most wonderful woman in the world.  Excluding Dolores of course!  In the years that I have known her she has made my life better each and every day.

I  graduated from the University of Missouri.  I’m very proud of that.  I truly enjoyed my time there.  So much so we recently moved back to Columbia to start a family.  I’ve enjoyed the recent success in football program and I look forward to our basketball program getting back some of their former glory.  I’m ever hopeful that we’ll win a national championship some time soon.  M – I – Z!!!

We have pets.  I don’t really like any of them.  I always thought pets were supposed to be fun and exciting.  Not a money pit.  Which is what are pets have become.  They are a sad bunch.  We have 2 dogs and 1 cat.  One dog is old and he stares at walls pretty much all day.  The other dog is scared of everything especially laundry.  And then there’s the cat.  Who basically barfs on our carpet almost every day.  For some reason I think we’ll be prepared for kids though.  Because putting up with this group is a chore.

I have an addiction with reading blogs and researching cars.  I hope this blog will take the place of me reading so many others.  I can spend hours upon hours researching the next great car and reading the next great blogger.  There is just tons and tons of content out there to devour that I could probably just do this all day.  That’s I guess why I wanted to start my own blog.  To get the things I have say off my chest.  I want to be someone I read everyday.  Hopefully I’ll make it just that.  So here’s to you jalopnik, autoblog, engadget, gizmodo, Rock M Nation, and Six Until Me (SUM) and too many others I couldn’t possibly name them all here.  But I hope to talk about them in the future and link to them as well.  They are great blogs that I enjoy dearly.

In the spring of 2008 I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.  This obviously has put my life on an entirely new course.  I’ve written an entire post on how I come to find out I had the betes.  It’s quite a read.  I’m sure I’ll use this outlet to let it all out from time to time.  I’m still in my 1st year after diagnosis.  So it’s all so new and intriguing.  We’ll see how I feel about it in 5, 10, and 15 years down the road.  I know it won’t be easy.  I’ve read so much from other bloggers dealing with this chronic illness.  They are inspiring to me as I hope to inspire someone as well.

- Steve